I guess I could have had herbal tea.

I consumed my placenta (or was it Hugo's?). I didn't chop it up and turn it into a stir-fry or a pizza (which can be done by the way). No, instead, I had it encapsulated (which means turned into capsules) which is a lot less gross and also lasts much longer. In fact, almost 15 weeks after giving birth to it, I have just finished having it.

I knew that January Jones and Holly Madison (one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends if you didn't know) had both had it done but hadn't given it much thought. However, sometime in the last week before my due date, I had discussed it with Chris, telling him what January Jones' experience had been like. At that point, I hadn't really thought about actually getting it done but the next day, by pure telepathic coincidence, my mum also mentioned it. I'm not sure why she did but she did and I was incepted Leonardo DiCaprio style.

I started looking into the process and the reasons people do it. Apparently, the placenta is full of good stuff: it is supposed to help with energy levels, iron levels, hormonal balance, milk production and blood loss amongst other things which all work together to keep the ghost of PND at bay. In fact, it is so good that all other mammals consume the placenta. Biology knows where it's at.

I quickly found a woman who offers this niche service locally. Three days before giving birth I contacted her and made arrangements for her to come and pick it up from the hospital. We were simply to bring a small esky to the hospital, place the placenta into the esky on ice and make sure the it didn't leave the room. She would then come and pick it up within a few hours to take it home, cook and dehydrate it before grinding it and encapsulating it. I would have it back, ready to ingest, within a few days.

When we arrived at the hospital, I told the midwife about our plans to have the placenta picked up. Incredulous, she asked why in the world would we do such a thing. Hiding the fact that I was surprised she had never heard of this, I listed the various benefits to which she replied matter-of-factly, "Can't you just have some herbal tea?" I guess I hadn't thought of that...

The transaction went perfectly smoothly and a few days later, Kristy (the encapsulator) dropped the capsules off at our house, along with the dried up umbilical cord (which now looks a lot like beef jerky) and a placenta print (done by placing the organ onto a sheet of paper for a few seconds). Eventhough I had the pills, Hugo can have the cord one day!

I'll never know with any certainty whether taking these pills made any difference to my wellbeing but they certainly didn't do any harm and if anything, they acted as a great placebo. A bit like a nicotine patch, they made me feel a little protected and ready to fight the hormonal swings, the sleepless nights and sleepy days that followed the birth of our son. If anything, it will make a great story to tell Hugo one day. I'm smiling already imagining what his reaction might be!

I don't remember ever being THAT big!

A few days before...

I stumbled across this photo the other day and Wowsa! I just do not remember being that big! It was taken a few days before Hugo was born so it's as pregnant as I got really but the strange thing is, people kept being surprised when I said I was just about due. They said my 'bump was tidy' and that other women were 'soooo much bigger'. How that is possible, I have no idea. In any case, there it is and as I crank up the yoga and pilates, slowly getting my normal figure back, it's fun to see one of the last photos of Before (with a capital B).

A few more preggers shots, just for the fun of it...

Being pregnant in summer was the best. I have never felt more secure in a bikini!

A convenient ipad rest...

I guess, the 'bump' is pretty well concealed there.

14 weeks and our first visit to the doctor's.

First of all, let me say that it is not as dramatic as the title sounds. Nevertheless, I did take Hugo to the Dr.'s this morning in an attempt to eliminate the possibility of medical issues with respect to a pattern he has developed over the last few weeks.

Hugo is a happy and contented baby 90% of the time. Once in a while, and typically when he is getting visibly tired, he gives me the impression that he is hungry but as I position him to feed, he starts jerking away from me and starts crying. Soon enough, he is screaming his head off and working himself into a frenzy. Eventually, without quite understanding how or why, he calms down a little and accepts to feed. His eyes start rolling back almost instantly and before long, he is in a deep sleep - probably due to a combination of the initial tiredness and the intense crying which inevitably follows.

The first time this happened, a few weeks ago, seemed totally out of the blue and since, it has happened once or twice a day. I realise that some crying probably doesn't hurt him, but it is the fact that it happens so suddenly and intensely that had me worried. Since I couldn't notice any other symptoms besides being tired, my instinct told me that he simply has trouble switching off.

This morning, the intensity of his crying was probably the highest he has had yet and in a moment of "not knowing what else to do," I dialled the number of our medical practice and booked him in for an appointment straight away. Mostly, I wanted to eliminate the possibility of an ear infection but also, I just wanted some reassurance.

The dr. who saw us was a lovely woman with plenty of baby experience. She took me seriously and I thanked her for it. Whether it was good luck or just unfortunate, Hugo demonstrated the problem during the consultation. She checked for a number of medical problems but without finding anything, like me, she came to the conclusion that he was a very alert and interested baby who had trouble dozing off into slumber. I left the consultation feeling reassured and with a few tips up my sleeve. I'll go back in a few days for a follow up.

Despite how stressful it can become in the heat of the moment, I feel grateful for having such a healthy baby boy who is just too interested in the world to fall asleep. I am grateful that a stranger listened to me and didn't brush me off within a few minutes and I am grateful that most likely, "this, too, shall pass". Meanwhile, I'll just keep enjoying all the bits in between...

3 months - Sleep is on our minds...

3 months family portrait

A little while ago, a facebook friend wrote on her 'wall' that in six months time, she would become a mother. I was thrilled for her but I wanted to comment that she already was and had been from the moment she welcomed this pregnancy into her life. This happened to me exactly one year ago. However, in six months time, a father will be born along with his child. This happened to Chris 3 months ago.

As we mark a quarter of a way into Hugo's first year, the topic of sleep has really been constantly on our minds. A few weeks ago, and without any identifiable reason, Hugo has started fighting sleep. Every time he gets tired, and just as he looks like he might doze off, he suddenly starts fretting and eventually crying. After a while and with a lot of coaxing, he calms down enough to be fed and fall asleep. We haven't been able to put him to sleep without resorting to feeding in weeks so, which some people might argue this is a 'bad habit'. We will keep trying other techniques to help him fall asleep but meanwhile, I am completely grateful that at least, my super power still works.

Apart from the slight sleep issues, Hugo changes a little bit everyday. He smiles and giggles easily, sucks his cute little thumbs, continues to experiment with a whole range of sounds although his favourite one goes something like A-grrr-uuuuuu and reaches for toys and objects which he then shoves into his mouth. His legs are getting pretty strong and he uses them to push his bottom into the air when he is on his tummy. He is trying pretty hard to roll over although he has a way to go yet...

As for us, we are managing quite well. I have been busy going to post-natal pilates and yoga classes and continue to enjoy plenty of coffees with friends around town. I take Hugo on lots of long walks and have been able to enjoy a few moments baby-free. Chris has been busy with work, with lots of long days at the office. Luckily, he and Hugo spend some quality time together in the mornings while Mummy sleeps just a little bit longer.

Let's see what else happened this month...

We celebrated my first Mother's Day with a lovely picnic in Blackbutt reserve;

Did lots of Tummy time, going from licking the mat to something a little bit more like a mini push-up;

Continued to make some excellent fashion choices; 

Celebrated Jess' birthday in the festively named Copacabanna;

Gave Hugo his first bottle, which allowed me to go out to have an evening solo and celebrate a friend's birthday at one of the nicest restaurants in town;

Finally finished the blanket I started knitting for Hugo a couple of weeks before he was born;

Transferred Hugo into his cot, as he was getting pretty snug in his Moses basket. After some initial bewilderment, he has taken to his big boy's bed quite well;

Meanwhile also trying to make the most out of his cocoon, a clever little bag which fits into his pram, while we can since it won't be long before he outgrows it too...

And had his first passport photos taken which we will use for his upcoming travels to the US in August and we hope to France for Christmas.

Sleep: Am I a 'cuddler' or a 'tamer'?

Raising a baby seems to come with a minefield of contradictions one has to navigate everyday and there is no topic of discussion more fraught with disagreement than that of sleep.

We've been lucky because Hugo has slept relatively well right from the start, slowly increasing his night-time shifts and taking some long naps in the afternoons (sometimes). The topic of sleep hadn't really been on my mind that much but as a coincidence, I have come across two oposing ideas in the space of a couple of days.

On one hand, I came across Pinky McKay, a gentle baby-lead approach advocate. She defines the two 'camps' as 'cuddlers' and 'tamers'. Cuddlers follow the baby's lead and respond to its needs promptly, patiently and with lots of cuddles. Tamers create a set of routines and processes which format the baby into sleeping, eating and playing at specific times, thus making the carer's life more manageable. Pinky argues that babies are simply expressing their needs and that society needs to lower their expectations of what a 'good' baby or a 'bad' baby is, and how it should 'behave'. She puts the emphasis back on the baby itself rather than the obsession with creating a 'convenient' baby. This goes along with the concept that a baby who is responded to promptly will feel more secure and become more curious and independent later on.

On the other hand, I went to the first session of a 4 week mothers and babies group program where each week a specialist in a particular field explains the basics of it, gives tips and answers our (many) questions. This week, the topic was 'sleep' and the guest was a midwife/baby whisperer. Her specialty is helping parents settle their babies and create sleep routines. She showed us a number of techniques, taught us the signs of a content, tired and (the dreaded) over-tired baby and the basics of teaching a baby to self-settle.

I walked out feeling a little confused and after the afternoon to think about it, I think I have decided that I would mix and match what makes sense to me. As I said, Hugo has been a good sleeper and I feel quite rested and calm. I don't feel the need to start imposing all sorts of rules which might just stress us both out. However, I did try a couple of the techniques today and they did show some potential. I feel more able to recognize when Hugo needs to be put to bed but the way I do that might be more along Pinky's lines. Hugo is our first baby and without having to look after a toddler at the same time, I am still happy to be a 'cuddler' simply because I can. My approach and desires might change when I want to start working again (soon-ish) but until then, Hugo can take the lead.

As the midwife said, 'you only need to change things if you aren't happy,' and for now, I'm happy.