Well, it's been a while since I sat here and tried to write a blog post. In fact, it's been so long that I don't even know where to start. That in itself, is what has kept me away from the keyboard. I do remember why I stopped though. My last post was about my time in Texas earlier this year. The stay was brutally interrupted by the tragic news of my step-sister's passing in France. Within a few days of hearing the news, we were all boarding planes heading in different directions over different oceans. The pacific for us, the Atlantic for Mothe and Laurent.
On the blog, I just got stuck. I didn't know how to address this. I didn't know whether it should be short and sweet, with a poem, or a quote or a couple photos. Or if it should take a longer form which I just couldn't face writing. I've said it before but, Marine, or Jartine as we called her, and I weren't close in recent years and so my sadness lies with those who do and will miss her much more than me, particularly my step-father, Laurent. My sadness also comes from contemplating what it must feel like for a parent to lose a child and I'm not sure I can go there.
This is what I had written on Facebook on the occasion of Marine's 'would-be' 29th birthday:
"A few weeks ago, my step-father lost his daughter and I lost a step-sister. We hadn't been close for years but when life comes to an abrupt end, no matter the circumstances, the good times inevitably bubble back up to the surface. We're thinking of her today on what should have been her 29th birthday and I'm thinking of those whose loss feels far more acute than mine today. It's a long road ahead and there will be many more 'shoulda, coulda, woulda' birthdays but every year, we'll focus on the good times because that's what we all deserve in the end. R.I.P Jartine Moule Jrite. We won't forget you."
For the time being, I'll leave it at that and keep thinking of Laurent whose journey along this long long road has only just started.
The months between then and now seem like a blur. Our birthdays and anniversaries came and went. Mothe and Laurent came to visit us at the end of November and we spent Christmas in Albury.
We got back to Newcastle on the 27th of December and started work on our house on the 28th. It feels like such a long time ago but it really isn't and I am amazed by how far we have come already. Nevertheless, there is still much to do and as my belly grows, my appetite for the renovations starts to diminish.
It is an exhausting process. Exhausting, frustrating and seemingly endless.
It's also really exciting and satisfying to see our vision come to life day after day, week after week. There are good sides and bad sides to doing it mostly ourselves. The bad sides are obvious but we really do enjoy the fact that we can make decisions as we need to without tiptoeing around a builder who might be more concerned with his profit or time management than the final outcome. When working within an existing and somewhat unpredictable structure, this is crucial and precious.
We are probably a few more weeks off being able to move in. It won't be completely finished but it will be usable and ready for the next chapter of our lives. As we get our bearings, we will keep working on it as we need to.
One thing is certain, Hugo will have the best bedroom on the block.
I am now 34 weeks along and apart from ongoing pain in my hips, this has been a very smooth and easy pregnancy. I have hardly had time to think about it in fact but I can feel that my head is starting to catch up with the baby growing inside of me, as I am reminded constantly by tiny limbs bulging from my abdomen.
It's difficult to imagine that Hugo understands what is about to happen but I feel that he will be fine. He is very gentle with and intrigued with my friend's recent arrivals, giving them delicate pats on the head or lightly squeezing their pudgy little feet. He also has a doll which he enjoys playing with. He carefully puts it to bed on a shelf, draping a blanket over the soft body. Or he tries to brush its teeth and feed it biscuits. Of course, he will require constant supervising but I think we'll be OK and Hugo's sunny nature will shine through once more.
As we approach his second birthday, we continue to delight in Hugo's presence. He is such a beautiful little boy and fills us with pride and love constantly. We are amazed by every new thing he does or says, as he cruises past on his scooter or perfects his imitations of animal sounds. He is adventurous and affectionate in equal measure, surprisingly agile and coordinated, as he also becomes more patient and interested in games that require more concentration, like stacking blocks, reading or drawing.
His easy-going disposition makes most days a pleasure and when the going gets tough, I try to focus on the idea that for just a little longer, he is my one and only baby. In a few weeks, that will all change and as we always do, we will adapt.
On the blog, I just got stuck. I didn't know how to address this. I didn't know whether it should be short and sweet, with a poem, or a quote or a couple photos. Or if it should take a longer form which I just couldn't face writing. I've said it before but, Marine, or Jartine as we called her, and I weren't close in recent years and so my sadness lies with those who do and will miss her much more than me, particularly my step-father, Laurent. My sadness also comes from contemplating what it must feel like for a parent to lose a child and I'm not sure I can go there.
This is what I had written on Facebook on the occasion of Marine's 'would-be' 29th birthday:
"A few weeks ago, my step-father lost his daughter and I lost a step-sister. We hadn't been close for years but when life comes to an abrupt end, no matter the circumstances, the good times inevitably bubble back up to the surface. We're thinking of her today on what should have been her 29th birthday and I'm thinking of those whose loss feels far more acute than mine today. It's a long road ahead and there will be many more 'shoulda, coulda, woulda' birthdays but every year, we'll focus on the good times because that's what we all deserve in the end. R.I.P Jartine Moule Jrite. We won't forget you."
For the time being, I'll leave it at that and keep thinking of Laurent whose journey along this long long road has only just started.
The months between then and now seem like a blur. Our birthdays and anniversaries came and went. Mothe and Laurent came to visit us at the end of November and we spent Christmas in Albury.
We got back to Newcastle on the 27th of December and started work on our house on the 28th. It feels like such a long time ago but it really isn't and I am amazed by how far we have come already. Nevertheless, there is still much to do and as my belly grows, my appetite for the renovations starts to diminish.
It is an exhausting process. Exhausting, frustrating and seemingly endless.
It's also really exciting and satisfying to see our vision come to life day after day, week after week. There are good sides and bad sides to doing it mostly ourselves. The bad sides are obvious but we really do enjoy the fact that we can make decisions as we need to without tiptoeing around a builder who might be more concerned with his profit or time management than the final outcome. When working within an existing and somewhat unpredictable structure, this is crucial and precious.
We are probably a few more weeks off being able to move in. It won't be completely finished but it will be usable and ready for the next chapter of our lives. As we get our bearings, we will keep working on it as we need to.
One thing is certain, Hugo will have the best bedroom on the block.
I am now 34 weeks along and apart from ongoing pain in my hips, this has been a very smooth and easy pregnancy. I have hardly had time to think about it in fact but I can feel that my head is starting to catch up with the baby growing inside of me, as I am reminded constantly by tiny limbs bulging from my abdomen.
It's difficult to imagine that Hugo understands what is about to happen but I feel that he will be fine. He is very gentle with and intrigued with my friend's recent arrivals, giving them delicate pats on the head or lightly squeezing their pudgy little feet. He also has a doll which he enjoys playing with. He carefully puts it to bed on a shelf, draping a blanket over the soft body. Or he tries to brush its teeth and feed it biscuits. Of course, he will require constant supervising but I think we'll be OK and Hugo's sunny nature will shine through once more.
As we approach his second birthday, we continue to delight in Hugo's presence. He is such a beautiful little boy and fills us with pride and love constantly. We are amazed by every new thing he does or says, as he cruises past on his scooter or perfects his imitations of animal sounds. He is adventurous and affectionate in equal measure, surprisingly agile and coordinated, as he also becomes more patient and interested in games that require more concentration, like stacking blocks, reading or drawing.
His easy-going disposition makes most days a pleasure and when the going gets tough, I try to focus on the idea that for just a little longer, he is my one and only baby. In a few weeks, that will all change and as we always do, we will adapt.
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