14 weeks and our first visit to the doctor's.

First of all, let me say that it is not as dramatic as the title sounds. Nevertheless, I did take Hugo to the Dr.'s this morning in an attempt to eliminate the possibility of medical issues with respect to a pattern he has developed over the last few weeks.

Hugo is a happy and contented baby 90% of the time. Once in a while, and typically when he is getting visibly tired, he gives me the impression that he is hungry but as I position him to feed, he starts jerking away from me and starts crying. Soon enough, he is screaming his head off and working himself into a frenzy. Eventually, without quite understanding how or why, he calms down a little and accepts to feed. His eyes start rolling back almost instantly and before long, he is in a deep sleep - probably due to a combination of the initial tiredness and the intense crying which inevitably follows.

The first time this happened, a few weeks ago, seemed totally out of the blue and since, it has happened once or twice a day. I realise that some crying probably doesn't hurt him, but it is the fact that it happens so suddenly and intensely that had me worried. Since I couldn't notice any other symptoms besides being tired, my instinct told me that he simply has trouble switching off.

This morning, the intensity of his crying was probably the highest he has had yet and in a moment of "not knowing what else to do," I dialled the number of our medical practice and booked him in for an appointment straight away. Mostly, I wanted to eliminate the possibility of an ear infection but also, I just wanted some reassurance.

The dr. who saw us was a lovely woman with plenty of baby experience. She took me seriously and I thanked her for it. Whether it was good luck or just unfortunate, Hugo demonstrated the problem during the consultation. She checked for a number of medical problems but without finding anything, like me, she came to the conclusion that he was a very alert and interested baby who had trouble dozing off into slumber. I left the consultation feeling reassured and with a few tips up my sleeve. I'll go back in a few days for a follow up.

Despite how stressful it can become in the heat of the moment, I feel grateful for having such a healthy baby boy who is just too interested in the world to fall asleep. I am grateful that a stranger listened to me and didn't brush me off within a few minutes and I am grateful that most likely, "this, too, shall pass". Meanwhile, I'll just keep enjoying all the bits in between...

3 months - Sleep is on our minds...

3 months family portrait

A little while ago, a facebook friend wrote on her 'wall' that in six months time, she would become a mother. I was thrilled for her but I wanted to comment that she already was and had been from the moment she welcomed this pregnancy into her life. This happened to me exactly one year ago. However, in six months time, a father will be born along with his child. This happened to Chris 3 months ago.

As we mark a quarter of a way into Hugo's first year, the topic of sleep has really been constantly on our minds. A few weeks ago, and without any identifiable reason, Hugo has started fighting sleep. Every time he gets tired, and just as he looks like he might doze off, he suddenly starts fretting and eventually crying. After a while and with a lot of coaxing, he calms down enough to be fed and fall asleep. We haven't been able to put him to sleep without resorting to feeding in weeks so, which some people might argue this is a 'bad habit'. We will keep trying other techniques to help him fall asleep but meanwhile, I am completely grateful that at least, my super power still works.

Apart from the slight sleep issues, Hugo changes a little bit everyday. He smiles and giggles easily, sucks his cute little thumbs, continues to experiment with a whole range of sounds although his favourite one goes something like A-grrr-uuuuuu and reaches for toys and objects which he then shoves into his mouth. His legs are getting pretty strong and he uses them to push his bottom into the air when he is on his tummy. He is trying pretty hard to roll over although he has a way to go yet...

As for us, we are managing quite well. I have been busy going to post-natal pilates and yoga classes and continue to enjoy plenty of coffees with friends around town. I take Hugo on lots of long walks and have been able to enjoy a few moments baby-free. Chris has been busy with work, with lots of long days at the office. Luckily, he and Hugo spend some quality time together in the mornings while Mummy sleeps just a little bit longer.

Let's see what else happened this month...

We celebrated my first Mother's Day with a lovely picnic in Blackbutt reserve;

Did lots of Tummy time, going from licking the mat to something a little bit more like a mini push-up;

Continued to make some excellent fashion choices; 

Celebrated Jess' birthday in the festively named Copacabanna;

Gave Hugo his first bottle, which allowed me to go out to have an evening solo and celebrate a friend's birthday at one of the nicest restaurants in town;

Finally finished the blanket I started knitting for Hugo a couple of weeks before he was born;

Transferred Hugo into his cot, as he was getting pretty snug in his Moses basket. After some initial bewilderment, he has taken to his big boy's bed quite well;

Meanwhile also trying to make the most out of his cocoon, a clever little bag which fits into his pram, while we can since it won't be long before he outgrows it too...

And had his first passport photos taken which we will use for his upcoming travels to the US in August and we hope to France for Christmas.

Sleep: Am I a 'cuddler' or a 'tamer'?

Raising a baby seems to come with a minefield of contradictions one has to navigate everyday and there is no topic of discussion more fraught with disagreement than that of sleep.

We've been lucky because Hugo has slept relatively well right from the start, slowly increasing his night-time shifts and taking some long naps in the afternoons (sometimes). The topic of sleep hadn't really been on my mind that much but as a coincidence, I have come across two oposing ideas in the space of a couple of days.

On one hand, I came across Pinky McKay, a gentle baby-lead approach advocate. She defines the two 'camps' as 'cuddlers' and 'tamers'. Cuddlers follow the baby's lead and respond to its needs promptly, patiently and with lots of cuddles. Tamers create a set of routines and processes which format the baby into sleeping, eating and playing at specific times, thus making the carer's life more manageable. Pinky argues that babies are simply expressing their needs and that society needs to lower their expectations of what a 'good' baby or a 'bad' baby is, and how it should 'behave'. She puts the emphasis back on the baby itself rather than the obsession with creating a 'convenient' baby. This goes along with the concept that a baby who is responded to promptly will feel more secure and become more curious and independent later on.

On the other hand, I went to the first session of a 4 week mothers and babies group program where each week a specialist in a particular field explains the basics of it, gives tips and answers our (many) questions. This week, the topic was 'sleep' and the guest was a midwife/baby whisperer. Her specialty is helping parents settle their babies and create sleep routines. She showed us a number of techniques, taught us the signs of a content, tired and (the dreaded) over-tired baby and the basics of teaching a baby to self-settle.

I walked out feeling a little confused and after the afternoon to think about it, I think I have decided that I would mix and match what makes sense to me. As I said, Hugo has been a good sleeper and I feel quite rested and calm. I don't feel the need to start imposing all sorts of rules which might just stress us both out. However, I did try a couple of the techniques today and they did show some potential. I feel more able to recognize when Hugo needs to be put to bed but the way I do that might be more along Pinky's lines. Hugo is our first baby and without having to look after a toddler at the same time, I am still happy to be a 'cuddler' simply because I can. My approach and desires might change when I want to start working again (soon-ish) but until then, Hugo can take the lead.

As the midwife said, 'you only need to change things if you aren't happy,' and for now, I'm happy.

2 months: You're not a newborn anymore Hugo.

2 months family portrait

2 Beautiful months is what it took for Hugo to go from being a tiny sleepy newborn enveloped in the soft haze of the beginning of life to an alert, curious and reactive baby with dimples in his arms and a big round adorable tummy. 2 wonderful months is what it took for me to begin to realise the enormity of it all, the iceberg atop of which I stand.

This is what went down...

On the exact day Hugo turned 1 month old, his other grandmother came to visit from Albury for one week. We did very much the same things as with my mum, mostly having coffee by the beach, going for walks and hanging out at home although this visit did also involve the knitting of booties. 

Hugo and his GrandMa from Albury.

The booties in question (already too small...)

At 6 weeks, Hugo had a check-up and his first immunization shots. I am not sure whether the shots were more painful to receive or to watch. I can safely say that following birth, this was the biggest shock of his life. At least, he will forget it eventhough I won't... In any case, his check up confirned what I suspected: this boy is growing fast with an extra 1.5kgs and 9cm making him 4.9kgs and 56cm. 2 weeks later, I have no doubt these figures are old news.

On the night of the shots, we got in the car and went off on our first family adventure to spend the Anzac Day long week-end in Albury where he met his grandfather and cousins, Harry and Jinty. Although Harry didn't seem terribly interested (he was probably worried about the prospect of another baby sticking around, Jinty on the other hand sensed that Hugo had the potential to be a fairly interesting new doll.

On the way, we stopped by Mick & Jess' in Camden where Jess had made this gorgeous playmat for the little man. 

Vintage wheels in Albury.

Hugo meets Jinty.

A dance?

While in Albury, we caught up with good friends Carolina & Simon who were spending the W-E in a nearby town.

3 generations of van Lint men.

Poor little Hugo travelled remarkably well. The journey home took about 10 hours and he slept through most of it with a couple feeding stops (us and him). About 40 minutes from home, he did decide that he had had enough and just screamed his little angry head the rest of the way. I tried to sit in the back and Shhhh-ed so hard that I made myself dizzy. Nothing worked but we eventually got home and life slowly went back to normal.

All packed in.

Quick stop in Goulburn.

Meanwhile, Hugo continues to evolve a little bit each day. It is quite fascinating to watch. He has outgrown the majority of his first round of wardrobe on his attempt to catch up to his friend Jules (Jules is the son of my friend Melanie and is 4 days older than Hugo), is starting to enjoy spending time in his bouncer, is a very smily and vocal little boy and on the exact day of his second Month birthday, he discovered his thumb - the perfect organic pacifier.

Hugo and Jules.

Too cute for words.

With not much room left in his Moses basket, it's nearly time for him to move into his cot.

Looking a little dubious...

And on this note, the adventure continues...