2.43 p.m. Nope, I won't have even a minute off today. I did manage to take a few nice photos of Hugo eating watermelon and looking like a vampire in True Blood. That's it... We'll see what happens tomorrow.
3.38 p.m. Maybe it's a mistake to write off a whole day in a single moment. An hour ago, it seemed the children's naps would tag team and I wouldn't get any time to sit down in front of my computer. Fast forward an hour later and here I am typing away. Hugo is still asleep and Eloise isn't far off. A little window has opened up.
As I attempt to carve out little pieces of time every day to do things for myself, sometimes successfully and sometimes not so, I am forced to consider the distinction between creativity and productivity. The former is a constant, whilst the latter ebbs and flows.
My brain, like a hamster on a wheel is constantly turning and thinking up new ideas. It's like having this movie running in parallel to my normal life. I think about what I will write, my next knitting projects, the furniture we will build for our house, the weaving I would like to attempt, the new logo design I will try.... it never stops.
Sadly, my brain fires ideas out much faster than I can get to them, even if in many ways, I have produced far more in the last couple of years, children and all, than at any other time in my life.
That's because I am enjoying the journey of each idea, chipping away at an idea until it is finished, whether it looks beautiful and cherished or discarded as a failure. I'm not so hung up on the result anymore, happy to experiment instead. I love the act of being creative and of making. The finished result, quite often, is just another thing to be stored for a while and discarded later. The experience, the experiment, the meditation it provides, the open thinking space that resides in the silence of knitting, are what I am after. That's my me-time.
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| Fiiii Teque!! (finished pasteque in case you didn't catch that) |
As I attempt to carve out little pieces of time every day to do things for myself, sometimes successfully and sometimes not so, I am forced to consider the distinction between creativity and productivity. The former is a constant, whilst the latter ebbs and flows.
My brain, like a hamster on a wheel is constantly turning and thinking up new ideas. It's like having this movie running in parallel to my normal life. I think about what I will write, my next knitting projects, the furniture we will build for our house, the weaving I would like to attempt, the new logo design I will try.... it never stops.
Sadly, my brain fires ideas out much faster than I can get to them, even if in many ways, I have produced far more in the last couple of years, children and all, than at any other time in my life.
That's because I am enjoying the journey of each idea, chipping away at an idea until it is finished, whether it looks beautiful and cherished or discarded as a failure. I'm not so hung up on the result anymore, happy to experiment instead. I love the act of being creative and of making. The finished result, quite often, is just another thing to be stored for a while and discarded later. The experience, the experiment, the meditation it provides, the open thinking space that resides in the silence of knitting, are what I am after. That's my me-time.
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