We went to a playgroup this morning. Organised by the local YWCA, it is a little different to a Mother's Group. In this case, the YWCA fill their space with toys, craft activities, trampolines, costumes, puzzles and more and make it available to local children and their parents for a small fee.
The morning is structured with one hour of free play, followed by a little morning tea and a quick storytime. All together, it goes for almost two hours. Parents are asked to provide a piece of fruit to add to the morning tea and there is an opportunity to make a little biscuit there, which is baked in their oven just before sitting down.
We went for the first time this morning, escaping a heavy downpour on the way there. Hugo had a blast, grinning from ear to ear, shaking his little fists in the air and crawling from one play area to the next. He isn't really scared of anyone and crawls right into the middle of other children's activities or onto the lap of other mothers. Unfazed, he looks around to locate me and gets back to business.
Watching him, I feel a torrent of pride for this little boy who is trusting, affectionate and curious, but his vulnerability fills me with emotion as well. It's hard letting go, even if it's just a tiny little bit.
During morning tea, all the children were sitting at a long table on little plastic chairs. They each had a plate with little pieces of fruit on them. Hugo sat there, barely tall enough to see over the edge of the table but he ate his little fruit quietly and neatly. Once in a while, he would grab the arm of the little girl who was sitting on his right. She was a fair bit older and didn't like him touching her so she would push his hand off whenever he got too close.
I told her that he was just saying hello and asked her if he was hurting her. I said that it was OK if she didn't want him to touch her but asked her to be gentle. I find it hard to know how to interact with other people's children and I suppose I'll be learning as Hugo does, trying to find the right balance of support, encouragement, independence and resilience.
Once he had eaten his fruit, I lifted him out of his chair. Somehow he managed to grab the biscuit off the plate on his left. The little girl had left the table and the mother didn't mind him taking it. We sat down while he ate someone else's biscuit. I held him on my lap. He looked around as he chewed away, completely unfazed by the little girl who pushed him away, the older kids who snatched toys from him, the big room full of strangers. From the safe haven of my loving arms and lap, all he could see was opportunity.
The morning is structured with one hour of free play, followed by a little morning tea and a quick storytime. All together, it goes for almost two hours. Parents are asked to provide a piece of fruit to add to the morning tea and there is an opportunity to make a little biscuit there, which is baked in their oven just before sitting down.
We went for the first time this morning, escaping a heavy downpour on the way there. Hugo had a blast, grinning from ear to ear, shaking his little fists in the air and crawling from one play area to the next. He isn't really scared of anyone and crawls right into the middle of other children's activities or onto the lap of other mothers. Unfazed, he looks around to locate me and gets back to business.
Watching him, I feel a torrent of pride for this little boy who is trusting, affectionate and curious, but his vulnerability fills me with emotion as well. It's hard letting go, even if it's just a tiny little bit.
During morning tea, all the children were sitting at a long table on little plastic chairs. They each had a plate with little pieces of fruit on them. Hugo sat there, barely tall enough to see over the edge of the table but he ate his little fruit quietly and neatly. Once in a while, he would grab the arm of the little girl who was sitting on his right. She was a fair bit older and didn't like him touching her so she would push his hand off whenever he got too close.
I told her that he was just saying hello and asked her if he was hurting her. I said that it was OK if she didn't want him to touch her but asked her to be gentle. I find it hard to know how to interact with other people's children and I suppose I'll be learning as Hugo does, trying to find the right balance of support, encouragement, independence and resilience.
Once he had eaten his fruit, I lifted him out of his chair. Somehow he managed to grab the biscuit off the plate on his left. The little girl had left the table and the mother didn't mind him taking it. We sat down while he ate someone else's biscuit. I held him on my lap. He looked around as he chewed away, completely unfazed by the little girl who pushed him away, the older kids who snatched toys from him, the big room full of strangers. From the safe haven of my loving arms and lap, all he could see was opportunity.
Thank you for this vivid account of your day which gave me the impression I was right there with you observing our shining star.
ReplyDeleteYou make a valid point that adapting to such a social situation was a new experience for both of you. I still remember transitioning from a French playground to an American one. At the former, it was each to his own, no talking, no sharing (and I don't even mean borrowing another child's toy -- I mean offering one's own toys to another child). Then at the latter, previously unknown parents greeted each other warmly and urged their children to share and interact with each other.
I imagine you'll find yourself somewhere in between these 2 worlds and that each new experience will be increasingly enjoyable and reassuring.
And at the end of each day of exploration, Hugo will feel that "A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them." (Victor Hugo)
Of course too this is also why he feels safe to wander from them.
We will definitely be going back and I suspect Hugo will find his feet there quicker than I will. It's interesting and tricky negotiating interactions not only between children but of course also with the parents. One step at a time... at least the playgroup environment is fairly neutral.
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