Hugo seems to be going through a bit of a phase at the moment.
My usually adventurous child has become quite clingy and wary, both when we are out and when we are at home.
When we are out, he enjoys our familiar destinations (playgroup, the museum, friends' houses, the library and so on) but has become somewhat timid around people. Sadly, it's not just strangers but extends to people we see all the time as well.
He is reluctant to play where other children are playing, preferring to stand back and observe. He won't allow other people to hold him or carry him. Even touching him is problematic. If someone hands him something, he wants me to act as an intermediate pair of hands.
On the other hand, he is endlessly affectionate with his two favourite friends, Elinor and Jack. They chase each other, run around, hug each other like little puppies.
With anyone else though, he needs a safe distance. Sometimes, if he is feeling threatened, he just stands in the middle of the playground and cries out "Mama, Mama, Mama" endlessly. It's like he is paralysed. It's both sad to watch and quite irritating. In those moments when patience is running thin, I just wish he would snap out of it.
At home, he hasn't been showing great initiative for playing on his own at all, or very little. He doesn't like me out of his sight and follows me around like a shadow. I am happy to play with him but also need to attend to other things. I am trying to think of some more age appropriate toys and games which might kickstart things.
I think it would be unfair to attribute this change only to Eloise's birth. It would also be unfair not to take it into account though. Life has changed dramatically for him and it makes sense to feel a little more insecure. I suppose that although some of the things I describe started before, Eloise's birth and presence might be amplifying them.
I am trying harder to look at things from his perspective and change my own habits to support him more. I spend more time feeding Eloise where Hugo's toys are which seems to be encouraging him to play around me, if not alone.
As for the people around us, I am not quite sure how to approach it. I suppose he needs time and reassurance. He needs to feel that I am on his side. I am trying to put a few strategies in place but I don't expect it to solve itself straight away.
I don't mind him being an observer. If that was a problem to me, then I would be in trouble too. I actually think it's ok to be a little wary of people but I don't want him to feel paralysed by it. I just want him to feel secure and confident. I want him to radiate with the energy and beauty I see in him every day.
I hope that when I read this blog post again in a while from now, I will be relieved to see that it was indeed a passing phase. In the meantime, I'll just continue to stumble through the darkness trying to be the best parent I can be for my beautiful children.
My usually adventurous child has become quite clingy and wary, both when we are out and when we are at home.
When we are out, he enjoys our familiar destinations (playgroup, the museum, friends' houses, the library and so on) but has become somewhat timid around people. Sadly, it's not just strangers but extends to people we see all the time as well.
He is reluctant to play where other children are playing, preferring to stand back and observe. He won't allow other people to hold him or carry him. Even touching him is problematic. If someone hands him something, he wants me to act as an intermediate pair of hands.
On the other hand, he is endlessly affectionate with his two favourite friends, Elinor and Jack. They chase each other, run around, hug each other like little puppies.
With anyone else though, he needs a safe distance. Sometimes, if he is feeling threatened, he just stands in the middle of the playground and cries out "Mama, Mama, Mama" endlessly. It's like he is paralysed. It's both sad to watch and quite irritating. In those moments when patience is running thin, I just wish he would snap out of it.
At home, he hasn't been showing great initiative for playing on his own at all, or very little. He doesn't like me out of his sight and follows me around like a shadow. I am happy to play with him but also need to attend to other things. I am trying to think of some more age appropriate toys and games which might kickstart things.
I think it would be unfair to attribute this change only to Eloise's birth. It would also be unfair not to take it into account though. Life has changed dramatically for him and it makes sense to feel a little more insecure. I suppose that although some of the things I describe started before, Eloise's birth and presence might be amplifying them.
I am trying harder to look at things from his perspective and change my own habits to support him more. I spend more time feeding Eloise where Hugo's toys are which seems to be encouraging him to play around me, if not alone.
As for the people around us, I am not quite sure how to approach it. I suppose he needs time and reassurance. He needs to feel that I am on his side. I am trying to put a few strategies in place but I don't expect it to solve itself straight away.
I don't mind him being an observer. If that was a problem to me, then I would be in trouble too. I actually think it's ok to be a little wary of people but I don't want him to feel paralysed by it. I just want him to feel secure and confident. I want him to radiate with the energy and beauty I see in him every day.
I hope that when I read this blog post again in a while from now, I will be relieved to see that it was indeed a passing phase. In the meantime, I'll just continue to stumble through the darkness trying to be the best parent I can be for my beautiful children.
No comments:
Post a Comment